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How to Reject a Girl Nicely


It is possible to meet a girl and not hit it off with her. But how do you let her know that you are not compatible without coming across as a cruel person?

Well, how do you even reject a girl nicely without feeling evil? These are just but a few situations that could leave someone hurt if you do not express yourself appropriately.

How to reject a girl nicely does not sound that nice after all, but you can’t allow a false relationship to blossom.

Advice on How to Reject a Girl Nicely

It is common to find that you and the girl you met a few days ago are not compatible, even after a million dates or outings. It could also not be surprising for your long-term friend to admit to having a mad crush on you, and the feeling is not mutual. So, how to reject a girl nicely…it’s not always easy!

how to reject a girl nicely

No matter the circumstances around you, it is not always easy to tell a girl that you don’t like her. You might be worried that your rejection of her could make you come across as a bad person.

However, remember that staying in a relationship with a person you don’t like is unfair for both of you.

Now, you must figure out how to reject a girl most nicely and politely as possible to avoid hurting her.

1) Follow Your Instincts and Decide Beforehand How to Deliver the News

You know yourself best. That’s a fact. You also understand your interactions with the girl better than many other people around you – another fact. This also means that you have enough understanding of how to approach her with the news.

If rejecting her face to face may cause a disaster or hatred between the two of you, then you better call yourself to a meeting and explore other ways to do it better. Can writing a note work? Well, writing her a note will give her ample time and space required for the information to sink into her mind. It is also a good idea because it allows you to say everything that you need to say to her without causing unnecessary disasters and embarrassments.

You might also forget something in the instance that you are doing it in person but get flustered. That is allowed because emails and notes sound too impersonal and insincere.

As a rule of thumb, you need to gather enough courage and tell her in person, regardless of how hard and awkward it may seem. It should be simple to reject a girl nicely. Maintain it super simple and remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation as regards your actions and decisions about serious life matters.

 “Thanks, I’m not interested. I’m flattered.” is one direct statement you can use. Just let it be as direct as that because rejection sucks no matter how you sugar-coat it. It is good to keep in mind that you’re not being harsh but direct.

2) Keep Location and Timing in Mind

Location and timing are two critical things you should not ignore when rejecting a girl nicely. When making the big decision, consider how to do it in the least hurtful way possible, by taking into consideration when and where you are going to have this conversation.

Go for places that can afford both of you a lot of privacy. Avoid busy and noisy restaurants that leave no room for secrecy. You want the girl to know that you are not interested in her anymore, but yet still you don’t want to humiliate her before the eyes of the public.

Rarely do girls like to be stared at by strangers when they are upset and crying. What this means is that when choosing a better place for both of you to talk about your rejection of her, you should go for a private but neutral setting.

On timing, the longer you allow your ‘relationship’ to continue inside her mind, the hardest she will be hit when you finally lift the lid. So, not delaying the rejection is another point to consider.

3) Reject her With Respect, Honesty, and Integrity

After you’ve chosen the venue, time and means for your rejection, you now focus your energy and strength on what you want to tell her and how you’re going to do it. You need to be blunt and honest in your conversation with her. Avoid insulting or embarrassing her because it is completely unnecessary.

Avoid criticizing her intelligence and physical appearance. At this point and time, she will already be down emotionally, so don’t kick her while she’s down.

Never get mean to put your point across. This is to means that you should be straightforward in reasoning and remember to keep your sentences as short as possible. Do not delve too much into details. 

You could pick something simple, for example,

“I appreciate the fact that you like me, but the feelings are not mutual. I don’t share your feelings. I tell you this out of the respect I have for you. Let us be just friends and I hope you’ll be okay with that.”

In thinking of how to reject a girl nicely, you should accommodate her feelings while being direct. You would not want to be kicked while you are already down, so don’t do it to her either. As a rule, treat them the way you like to be treated if you are the one doing the asking. This is acting the Golden-Rule style.

If you find that hard, maybe tell her you to have no chemistry- “You’re great but there is no chemistry between us.” 

4) Don’t Give Her False Hopes That the Relationship is Not Over

If you have chosen to reject a girl nicely, then don’t lead her on with false promises that would make see as if the relationship is not over. The most crucial part of your conversation with her is to clear all doubts in her brain that you no longer want to be with her. Otherwise, you will paint a picture that things are not yet over between the two of you.

Avoid saying sentences that imply that there is a chance that the timing may be right later on. For instance, “I require enough time to get past my previous relationship” could mean that when you’re done with your previous relationship, you will want to get engaged to her.

Make a clean break and don’t leave her with illusions about the possibility of a future relationship. Leaving her on tenterhooks over that would mean more agony and trouble for her. Be completely honest with her and it will work, instead of letting her down easily as that won’t work in the long run.

5) Giver Her Space to Say How she Feels About It

Let her have her say but don’t allow it to abandon your stance. After you have her know how you feel, she obviously will be hurt a whole lot. That is natural, and you should allow her to say what she feels about it but her feelings should not lead you to backtrack.

You could go with something as simple as,

“I’ve told you how I feel. You should respect my feelings.”

Don’t let her pain and tears trick you into reversing your decision. Stick with your plan and don’t let anything deter you. Let her be to grieve and think about it alone. Note, she’s hurt now, but she will be hurt more should you delay it.

how to reject a girl nicely

6) Talk to Someone About it Afterward

You and your friends may have in the past discussed how to turn down a girl. Maybe these are the discussions that may have guided you when you were making the decisions in this situation.

Avoid discussions about rejecting this specific girl. A slip of the tongue and everyone around her town will be aware of the decision you’re about to make before she’s ever known.

You’ll naturally feel pretty guilty after you’ve made the decision, and this is the best time to approach your friends and family. Let them assure you that you have the right decision in the right way and at the right time.

Here is how you should dress for your new catch.

Final Thought: How to Reject a Girl Nicely

Often, most people stick to relationships they don’t like because they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Some go to pretty much lengths just to avoid doing so. But when it comes to how to reject a girl nicely, you just have to be open, honest and considerate.

Needless to say, this small issue can make dating difficult. In particular, the process of figuring out how to reject a girl is in itself a huge mountain. The concept of rejecting someone who has a genuine love for you is inherently hurtful, but it is necessary.

The whole process of rejecting a girl nicely should be founded on the following golden rules: 

  • Keep it simple
  • You don’t owe anyone an explanation
  • Keep things general-don’t quote personal reasons 
  • Be direct and super clear as possible
  • Remember that if she pushes further, she will be acting rude, and you are not
  • Tell them that you are not interested in a relationship with them
  • Your instincts should know that you are going to hurt them, no matter what  

When you’re ready to start dating again, boost your confidence with our guide to making the best first impression.

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